New Thought: Do Things You're Terrible At
Back when I was a kid I remember reading my first "self-help" type magazine article--it was probably in "Women's Day," which my mother had a subscription to. I'm not proud of reading "Women's Day," but it seemed like sophisticated literature, a small window into the world of adults, and I thought I'd take a peek. Anyway, the astute authors suggested that you should do something you're really good at at least once a day even if it's--I can't believe I remember this detail--tying a scarf really well.
I realize that whoever wrote the piece was probably trying to appeal to the widest possible audience, and wished to avoid assuming too much by saying "dance a blue-ribbon samba in six-inch heels" or "do a pick-up triathlon" as possible examples of things the average woman could do well. But tying a scarf? I don't know if even the world's best scarf-ti-er would get much of an endorphin uptick from that.
Nevertheless, as you can see, this article stuck with me.
But now, after all these years, I wonder if most of us take this advice a little too much to heart. I think we spend too much time doing things we're good at and not enough time doing things we suck at.
I hope that's the case, any way, because a month ago I took up a devilishly complex martial art called aikido, and, no two ways about it, I suck. I'm the guy in class that no one wants to partner with. I can't even crash-test dummy well. Last week I was the only student who showed up for one particular class and the instructor allowed me to do exactly eight techniques the whole two-hour class. I don't mean eight techniques, fifty times each. I mean eight techniques. There were so many things wrong with what I was doing that he had to take the rest of the class explaining, demonstrating, cajoling, and frequently blustering (that appears to be this particular teacher's M.O.) about my mistakes.
Now, there's part of me that wants to say, "Hey there, Gunslinger, I have a black belt in karate! I've medalled in a half-dozen triathlons! I've worked out almost daily for over twenty years!" But the fact is that it would do no good. All my past physical successes are no help to me. Fat, old, inflexible guys and fine-boned middle-aged women are way, way better than I am at this martial art, and jovially chuck me all over the mat from the beginning of class to the end. I've got an ill fitting gi uniform and a white belt that I will apparently be wearing for a long, long time.
Sure--it's good to have areas of expertise. But I'm finding it refreshing to jump into an arena I'm a total bozo. Clearly it touches on areas where I need to get better, and it sure would be great to have a physical activity I can do later in life that doesn't depend on my being able to bench-press or squat (relatively) big weights--a skill set which, though marvelous to have, is, I imagine, sadly transient.
Everyone loves to be an expert--but out of one's comfort zone is the place where real growth occurs.
Anyone else out there trying to get good at something they are--at present--terrible at? And how's it going for you?
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My mantra: train for your weaknesses. It’s so hard, but I REALLY try to do all the stuff that does not come naturally: split squats, one-legged stuff, etc. I do draw the line at things that call attention to me: those “women in the gym” exercises that involve balls, slides, or excessive reps. In fact, just starting to train w/ weights made me come face to face (or face to weight) with all my inabilities—a long time runner (good at it), I finally had to quit and start w/ stuff that was so antithetical. Changed my life in the best possible way.
Hi Andrew,
Reading your post made me feel a lot better. I am going to attend a Jeet Kune Do seminar in November taught by a well know instructor. A lot of hardcore JKD guys from all over world will be there. I will most likely be the least talented person in the seminar. Since tt’s a two day seminar, I suspect that on the second day people will do anything to avoid having to pair off with me. I am definitely stepping out of my comfort zone.
yup...
…I like the “train for your weaknesses” mantra. Too often I wind up just doing things I do well: it feels good, it looks cool. Watching my 10-month-old son slowly figure out how to walk makes it clear that ‘fear of looking stupid’ is completely learned: we just pick it up as adults. I wonder if that’s a big part of why we tend not to learn as well when we’re older: we’re just self-conscious about looking silly. I applaud anyone who jumps in to a new activity at any point, but particularly when they’re longer in the tooth than most neophytes.
I did JKD for a couple of years and enjoyed it. Now that I’m steeped in aikido, I’m missing its directness and simplicity. Very effective and fun art. Hope you enjoy the seminar!
by Andrew Heffernan on Oct 21, 2009 1:04 PM EDT reply actions







