I make no pretensions about knowing what happens in the afterlife, but I have it on good authority that we'll be reunited with our lost loved ones, that severed limbs will reach and stretch and stroll once more, that the sick will be healed, the deaf hear, and the blind see. 

I wonder, though, whether elective surgery will be reversed.  Will foreskins be restored?  Dental veneers drop away?  Liposuctioned fat rise from the medical-waste dump and firmly reaffix itself to artificially-slimmed thighs and hips?  On balance, will we look better, or worse?  

My six-month old son is ridiculously cute right now, but maybe he's peaking--maybe he'll be one of those cute kid/plain adults who work as child actors and then a few years later show up in handcuffs in the tabloids?  And if so, will he look like his Platonically-ideal cute six-month-old self in the afterlife, or his cover-of-Star-magazine self?  

(In the afterlife, will Dylan look like this...)

(...or this?)

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

More pressingly, I wonder what happens to lost data, lost poems, lost streaming video, and...lost podcasts.

This morning I had a brief but enlightening chat on the phone with Arton Baleci, the Beautiful Aim guy I wrote about a few weeks ago.  Some great stuff came out in the interview, which I'll try to hastily piece together below.  I recorded the conversation in my normal way--on my computer using Garage Band, a podcasting program, with the intent of posting it here for all my MPF readers' enjoyment.

(Arton Baleci, all dressed up and going places)

Then we hung up, I tried to save the interview and...my computer froze.

Upshot:  no podcast today.  My 20-minute chat with one of the most fascinating case studies I've ever encountered in the field of sports medicine is naught but so many random electrons knocking about in space, perhaps bumping up against the brilliant report I wrote about the Abolitionist John Brown in high school, and the incisive critique I wrote about Sir Gawain and the Green Knight at the University of Virginia.  I hope they're having a few good laughs at my expense and enjoying their freedom, perhaps kicking back a raucous pint or two as the barmaid tells them to pipe down.

Still--I've got my memories, oh yes I do. 

For people who never checked out Arton's site, here's the skinny:  he's 24; he's a self-confessed below-average athlete; he's obsessed with European football.  After graduating from the University (in something smarty-pantsy like evolutionary biology or neurochemistry.  Point is, he has options.).  he decided to give himself a limited time frame (it started as a year; now it might be somewhat longer) to do everything he could to make it to the pro level, so he put his whole life on hold, hired a dream team of coaches and therapists and nutritionists, and is now six months into trying to become The Bionic Man. 

Fascinating.  Check out his site, and a few of his videos, and you'll see what a great project it is. 

Anyway, today I grilled Arton on his training and here's what I got:

1.  He does 1-4 strength/speed/conditioning workouts a day, prescribed by his coaches.  They consist of weight training, running and agility drills, plyometrics, stretching, etc.

2.  Every couple of weeks he visits a Feldenkrais practitioner, who helps with nagging injuries and continues to refine his movements.

3.  He watches as much football as possible, observing and documenting the movement patterns of top players in order to imitate their most effective moves. 

4.  Rather than working with a football coach, Baleci is using a technique called Neuro-Linguistic Programming to try to capture and imitate the patterns of elite players.  The theory behind NLP is that we learn best by imitation rather than drilling.  Should Baleci make the pros--or even come close--this will be one of the major breakthroughs of his project.

5.  Baleci is consulting a sports vision expert, who will supply yet another of the missing links that separate the greatest athletes from average Joes.

The results so far?  Impressive:  Baleci has gone from average strength and speed to scoring in the mid-range among elite footballers on speed and agility tests.  He's down to 10.5% body fat, and looks leaner and more muscular after six months of training.

Downside:  He needs help.  Baleci is running low on cash, and needs support to keep his project going.  You can click here to make a donation, or send his information on to anyone who might be interested in sponsoring him. 

In exchange for participating in the Podcast-which-will-probably-never-be, Baleci asked me to plug a Feldenkrais workshop being offered by Leora Gaster in London on the weekend June 20th and 21st.  Gaster is, by all accounts, brilliant, and if you happen to live in the UK and want some exposure to one of the most comprehensive, fascinating, and little-known movement-and-health systems in the world, well, here's you chance. 

Thanks, Arton.  Next time I'll use a reel-to-reel.

Andrew