Recently I was forwarded a list of "100 Tools and Resources to Help Your Obese Teen" from a physical therapy site and thought I'd look it over.  There are some good things on there, including the dieter's standby "FitDay," the great health-information portal "WebMD," (both linked here as well) plus quite a few TV shows, including an iteration of "The Biggest Loser," which I confess to enjoying, although I, like many trainers, am dubious about some of their tactics.

Anyway:  one of the portions of the list that struck me was the food sources list.  In addition to "Whole Foods Market," which is indeed a decent, if expensive, source of good foods, and Laura Scudder, who makes a nice, all-natural peanut butter, some other items on the list included:

Kashi: Anyone looking to lose or even maintain a healthy weight will enjoy the tasty and nutritious food from Kashi. Their website has more information on food, a wellness hub, and even challenges for the individual or entire family.

Slim Fast: Teens and families looking to lose weight can learn more about Slim Fast products and even get special offers off the website. You can also get a free weight loss tools, an online community, and even help from registered dieticians and advisors.

Atkins: These products are ideal for those who consume too many carbohydrates. Get information on products, recipes, or even join the community for free.


BOCA Foods: Teens can lose weight with the help of these soy products easily and deliciously. They have products for every meal, use no meat, and they all contain fat fighting soy.


Garden of Eatin: Have your teen switch out their greasy, fat laden potato chips for one of these. You can get recipes, place an online order, and the black bean variety is recommended.

Late July: These organic snacks will keep your teen satisfied between meals. The vanilla bean with green tea cookie is ideal for those who love Oreo’s.

Breyer’s: These all natural ice creams are an ideal substitute for the sugar riddled others. The low fat varieties are perfect for obese teens and you can even get healthy recipes on the site.

R.W. Knudsen:  Have a teen who loves soda?  Try these low-sugar, all natural alternatives.

The number one thing that struck me about the list was that almost everything on it was processed.  Organic or no, I would put all of these choices far beneath the more mundane choices like "grass fed beef" or "fruits and vegetables."  I would even put them below non-organic fruits and vegetables.  You're not going to get healthy eating food that comes out of a box, folks.  Especially out of a box that has a cartoon character on it. 

Speaking of cartoon characters:  I did a little investigative journalism.  I've had Kashi cereal--the first item on the "recommended" list, before, and am thus fully aware that it's essentially candy.  Flipping to the "Nutrition Information" of this recommended product (we have some in the house...my wife loves the stuff), I see these key figures:  every one-cup serving has 190 kcal, 3g fat, 37 g carbs, 13g sugar.  On the plus side, it's got 9g protein and 8g fiber, but still--not exactly the nutrition profile of what you'd call a particularly healthy food.

Every 3/4 cup of Frosted Flakes, that classically crappy American kids' cereal, according to this website, has 114 kcal, virtually no fat, 28 g carbs, and 12g sugar.  Thrown into the mix are 1 g protein and .1 g fiber. 

If you have a choice between these two products and eating NOTHING, obviously--choose Kashi.  It's got less crap in it and a marginally better nutritional profile.  But come on:  a recommended "healthy" food for an obese teen?  Kashi cereal ain't gonna cut it. This product won't help ANYONE lose weight.

A quick look at the also-recommended Knudsen's soda makes the same point:  12 ounces of Knudsen's has 45g carbs, 180 kcal, and 44g sugar.  An equivalent amount of Coca-Cola has 40 g carbs, 145 kcal, and 40 g sugar, making Coke--in some ways--a healthier choice.  I'll concede that Knudsen's has more vitamins--but you're still getting an awful lot of sugar along with them, and besides, even if Knudsen's vitamin profile is better than Coke's, you're still a zillion times better off having an apple and a glass of water! 

Now I don't mean to pick on this physical therapy website--lots of people assume that because a box has a picture of a piece of wheat on the front that it's pure as the driven snow.  But I'm here to tell you that it's NOT.  The unfortunate thing for all of us consumers is that we simply have taste buds that are trained to respond to sugar and carbs and salt and fat.  We've been conditioned to like those flavors.

Again, nothing you get out of a box can hold a candle to anything edible that grows right out of the ground or walks or crawls or swims on the earth.  There are degrees of terrible, just as there are concentric circles of hell, but when it comes right down to it, even if you're having your eyes pecked out by a flock of crows rather getting flayed alive and roasted over a spit for all eternity, you're still in hell.

  (One thing hell has going for it:  everyone is ripped.  Seriously, everyone.)